I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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