I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize