Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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