Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
