Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize