And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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