Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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