It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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