ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
