I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
