I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
