I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
