you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
