so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
