I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
