yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
