sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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