I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
