this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
