how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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