Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
