Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
