He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
