Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
