They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
