Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
