Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
