I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
And then he peed in my hair
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
