I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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