I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
