Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he fucked my hip out of place.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
