Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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