This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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