Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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