420 ftw
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
