weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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