I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
