never play flip cup with pint glasses
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
