I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
