i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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