HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
