Your face is a jimmy john
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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