Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
