the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
