Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
