i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
