Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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