I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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