home. puking in laundry basket.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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