Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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