So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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