I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
