she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
