Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
