when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
