flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
