3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
