i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize