i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
