I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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