I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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