Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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