I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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