elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
