exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
