we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
