he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Two words: blizzard sex
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize