Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
