So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
